This is certainly not what I had thought I’d post for my first real blog entry here, but it is what it is.
I’ve been walking around for a few days now feeling out-of-sorts…in general…just down. I fight being in this place because I know historically what that means for me…and it’s not good…so here I am…tired…down and exhausted from the struggle to stay positive.
I woke up this morning with this phrase dancing round my brain “I hold pain”. So I’m going with it. I hold pain inside my body…I hold pain inside my heart…I hold pain inside my mind and I hold pain inside my soul.
I don’t like that I hold pain…but I own it. Merely saying I own it isn’t enough though….it’s like “owning” it just makes it a stagnant thing…and I need and crave fluidity. I want to progress, move on, learn….flow.
So here I sit thinking of ways to put motion to inertia…that I may feel the breath of positive thought and life once again…but this pain keeps wrapping it’s tentacles round me…leaving me motionless and sad.
I breathe in and think “I can do this” , I exhale and try to release. I breathe in and think “I’m worthy”, I exhale and try to believe. I breathe in and think “All is well”, I exhale and try to feel the flow.
Release, release, release…please Justene…just release…for this moment…for this day…just release…let it all go…surrender the pain…detoxify.
I’m leaving this as is…my life is a work in progress…deal with it
Very true, i think we all bottle pain up to a degree to keep a happy image for our friends / family, not really healthy but its a fact of life
I see pain as a teacher. Once I have learned from it, derived some clear lesson from it, it is much easier to let it go. Unless you hold on to it, for either conscious or unconscious reasons, pain really is very transient.
In some ways, we are conditioned to dwell on it – but I think that is not a good thing. It’s a part of life, but only a part.
Very nice writing.
I have added you to my blog here as well as a link on my blog at http://www.jeffreyalanmiller.blogspot.com
This is written as though it it could have been me. Though while reading it I know I wake this way every day.